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26|SMILEOFJAPAN|TRAVELVOLUNTEERPROJECTFOOD&DRINKHYOGOITWASTWOOFMYFRIENDSTHATFIRSTTOLDMEABOUTIT.THEPAIR,WHOAREUNUSUALLYEXTRAVAGANTANDHUMBLEATTHESAMETIME,WEREINLASVEGAS,TRYINGTOFURTHERTHEIRFORTUNESBYPLAYINGPOKER.ONENIGHTTHEYDECIDEDTOVISITANUPMARKETSTEAKRESTAURANT.ATTHETOPOFTHEMENUWASTHEKOBESTEAK.THEYASKEDTHEWAITERHOWITCOULDPOSSIBLYJUSTIFYITSTHREE-FIGUREPRICETAG.HEGAVETHEMTHESALESPITCH,ANDTHEYHANDEDOVERWHAT,EVENFORTHEM,WASARIDICULOUSAMOUNTOFMONEY.MYFRIENDSWEREBLOWNAWAY,BUTIHAVEBADNEWSFORTHEM:ITWASAFAKE.UNLESSTHERESTAURANTINLASVEGASHADIMPORTEDTHEMEATTHROUGHASINISTERBEEFYBLACKMARKET,THENWHATTHEYHADWASN’TGENUINEKOBE.FOLLOWINGANOUTBREAKOFBSEINSEPTEMBER2001(WHICH,UNSURPRISINGLY,DIDN’TMAKEMANYHEADLINES,WHATWITHEVERYTHINGELSETHATWASGOINGON)THEGOVERNMENTIMPOSEDAYET-TO-BE-LIFTEDBANONSELLINGBEEFABROAD.KOBEBEEFMAYHAVEAWORLDWIDEREPUTATIONFOREXCELLENCE,BUTUNLESSPEOPLEHAVETRAVELLEDTOJAPANTOEATITFROMALICENSEDRESTAURANT,SOMETHINGELSE–LIKELYINFERIOR–HASBEENPOSINGASTHEGENUINEARTICLE.BIZARRELY,THEKOBESTEAKASWEKNOWITTODAYWASDISCOVEREDBYABRITISHMAN.ITCAN’TQUITEGOONTHERIDICULOUSLY-LONGLISTOFGREATBRITISHINVENTIONS,BUTEDWARDKIRBY’SPURCHASEOFASTEERFROMLOCALFARMERSIN1868CERTAINLYLEDTOTHEMEAT’SEARLYPOPULARITY.SINCETHENANUMBEROFRULESANDREGULATIONSHAVECOMEINTOBEINGTOSAFEGUARDTHEBRANDFROMIMITATORS.THEYCOULDHARDLYBEMORESPECIFIC.INORDERFORITTOBELEGALLYMARKETEDASKOBEBEEF,THECOWMUSTBE:BORN,RAISEDANDSLAUGHTEREDINHYOGOPREFECTURE;WEIGHNOMORETHAN470KG;CANNOTBEOLDERTHANFIVE;ANDAHANDFULOFOTHERONEROUSSTIPULATIONS.IF,FORSOMEREASON,YOUWEREN’TSUREIFTHEMEATWASAGENUINEKOBEPRODUCT,YOUCANALSOREQUESTTOSEETHECERTIFICATEOFAUTHENTICITYTHATISSHIPPEDTOEVERYBUYER.ITDOESN’TSTOPTHERE:THECOW’SFAMILYTREEISINCLUDEDWITHTHEDOCUMENTATIONASIS–ANDWEFOUNDTHISSTRANGESTOFALL–ACOPYOFITSINKEDNOSEPRINT.“OHIT’SVERY,VERYIMPORTANT,”LAUGHSCHEFKEISUKEITOHOFITODINING.“AKOBECOWISLIKEATHOROUGHBREDHORSE.THISONE’SNAMEWASYOSHIKO,”HEADDS,SHOWINGUSAHUGEHUNKOFMARBLEDMEAT.ALIFE-LONGKOBER(KOBEITE?KOBESE?)ANDOWNEROFFOURDIFFERENTKOBEBEEFRESTAURANTSAROUNDJAPAN,ITOHISTHEWHERE’STHEBEEF?DAY53NOVEMBER6THKOBE,HYOGOPERFECTPERSONTOGRILLONWHATISANDISN’TTRUEABOUTTHELEGENDARYMEAT.ONEOFTHETHINGSMYFRIENDSWERETOLDBACKINVEGASWASTHATPARTOFTHEREASONITWASSOEXPENSIVEWASTHATTHECOWSDRANKBEERANDGOTMASSAGES.THEWAITER’SLIBERALDESCRIPTIONIMPLIEDTHATTHEBULLOCKSWERELIVINGALIFEOFLUXURYINACOLOSSALBOVINESPA.SURELYITCOULDN’TBETRUE?“YES,IT’STRUE,”SAYSITOHWITHASMILE.“BUTONLYALITTLEBEERTOHELPDIGESTION,ANDTHEMASSAGESONLYHAPPENINSUMMERWHENTHECOWSEATLESS.ITREDUCESSTRESS.”SONOHOOF-PEDICURE,BUTITSOUNDSBETTERTHANTHELIFEOFMOSTFARMANIMALS.ISUPPOSEITALSOEXPLAINSTHEUNIVERSALLYINFLATEDPRICE.“WELL,THECOWWEIGHSABOUT450KGS,ANDTHEFILLETCUTONLYMAKESUPABOUTEIGHTORNINEOFTHAT,”EXPLAINSTHECHEF,“ANDITHASTOBEATLEASTTWOYEARSANDEIGHTMONTHSOLD,SOTHEREAREMANYFACTORS.”THENTHERE’STHERESULTS,WHICHJUSTIFYJUSTABOUTANYPRICETAG.ITOHSEARSTHESTEAKQUICKLYANDWEWATCHATHINWHITENESSGROWFROMTHEBOTTOMUP,LIKERISINGMERCURY.“MELTINTHEMOUTH”ISATIRED,DULLEXPRESSION,BUTTHEREISNOBETTERWAYTODESCRIBETHESENSATIONOFEATINGGENUINEKOBEFILLET.ACTUALLY,ITHAPPENSLITERALLY:THEFATKOBEBEEFHASAFARLOWERMELTINGPOINTTHANANYOTHERTYPEOFBEEF.FEELINGITSLIDEAWAYISLIKEADELICIOUSTORTURE;IT’SVIRTUALLYIMPOSSIBLETOHOLDONTOTHESTEAKBEFOREITDISSOLVESANDSLIDESDOWNOURTHROATS.ALLTOOSOONTHEEXPERIENCEISOVER.WELOOKATTHECHEF,WIDE-EYED,LIKEPEOPLEDISCOVERINGAUNIVERSALTRUTHFORTHEFIRSTTIME:“WOW.”